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25 December 2013

12.. and the Night Before Christmas

One of the difficult things about making the hard decision a couple of years ago now that it was the right thing for me and the kids to do to strike out on our own is that they can't be in two places at one time when it comes to days like Christmas.  It doesn't make me regret the decision, and I know my kids are supportive of it, because they aren't incurably selfish and self centered.  But it doesn't make it much easier.  

My kids aren't with me tonight.  And for the first time in my life since they were born I haven't done the Christmas Eve/Santa ritutal with them.  This was always my domain.   I haven't been able to let go of Santa at my house and there are things in their Santa sacks for when they come home, which will, touch wood, be at 11am tomorrow morning.  When they walk through the door safe and sound Christmas Day will begin to feel slightly more normal again.  We are having lunch at my brother's house tomorrow, and I'm sure that will be great.

In the leadup to Christmas I tried telling myself that it's just another day, and that I was making a big deal about the things bothering me about it this year.  Despite my best efforts, I can't help feeling sad tonight.  Because Christmas isn't just another day, is it????  I suppose for me, Christmas is about being with people that you love with all your heart, and adore.  And unfortunately for me, some of these people aren't here, at all, and that's so hard.

Still..  the presents are wrapped, the baby Christmas Tree is decorated and the lights are on.  And earlier today, with the help of my Mum, I made some more headway with packing.  At the end of the day's shopping, I popped my head inside the Post Office just before they shut.  There, the nicest Post Office man in the world, the lovely Rob, waved me inside even though they were technically shut.  He's put so much thought into it, clearly taking in the excited conversations we'd had about all things Doctor Who in the lead up to the 50th Anniversary.  He got the stamp sent over from an English Post Office, especially to put in the little magnet.  It's lovely all the little things some people do to make me feel nice.  It's probably silly to still feel sad at the end of the day.. 

So to all my readers, both the regular and not quite so regular, to the ones that take the time to talk to me, and the ones that don't, and to the people that are close to my heart, Merry Christmas, with love...... If you can't say it at Christmas time, when can you say it?????

The baby Christmas Tree this evening..  I suppose on the positive side is that it was more relaxing wrapping presents free of the prying eyes of two children???
Not my tree, but it's so cool...
Sydney Airport this evening...  is pretty ace...

My special Tom Baker Doctor Who stamp magnet, from the lovely Rob at Weston Post Office.  The people at Balnarring are lovely, but they've got big shoes to fill!  

A few results from my photoshoot yesterday.  Conformation shots..  A fiddly little job that requires attention to detail and patience, and speed when the sometimes naughty ponies deign to put their feet in the right spot for that split second.  Some will stand like a stone once they are there, others you have a few seconds.

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